Well I am still here but life certainly isn’t getting any easier.
I have spoken before about the websites I run and part of that was my YouTube channel, where I film things that add to the main website.
Until recently this had been slowly gaining ground and was starting to make up for some of the losses on my main website where Adsense has been plummeting like an airliner with all engines shut down.
Last month (Jan 2018) I, along with thousands of other small YouTube creators, got a lovely little message saying that we were about to be kicked out of the ‘partner program’ because we don’t have 4000 watch minutes per year and less than 1000 subscribers.
I have been fighting to bring those figures up, but a month is simply not enough time to get them up enough, so another source of funding that I was relying on seems like it is about to dry up.
I have been slogging away for about 8 years and have always had the hope that one day, the work I have been doing will be ‘discovered’ and things would turn around.
I write online books as another way to try and fund what I have been doing but nothing seems to ever take off.
There are no grants available for individuals, commercial businesses aren’t interested. Government, apart from DPaW, has completely ignored me and with my brain issues taking more of a toll on me every week, I am just about to give up and walk away from all of it.
My main website has been doing better and better. More hits, record numbers of click-troughs to adverts, but income from Google Adsense has plummeted from close to $300 a month to around $50.
Over the time I have been using Adsense (plus all other funding methods I have tried) I have received a little over $10k. Sounds good right? When you look at what it has cost me to keep everything going, the story isn’t anywhere near as rosy.
Expenses, including vehicle repairs to our expedition vehicle, upgrading cameras and equipment, paying for web-hosting and organising expeditions have all cost in excess of $19k. That is $9k that has come directly out of my own pocket just to keep everything online.
Every cent we have been able to get via our PDF book sales, advertising and donations from kind supporters has made a difference. Now that our funding is drying up, there is just no incentive for me to try and keep going.
I struggle every day with the problems my dementia is creating. All it takes is for someone to talk to me while I am working on something, for me to completely lose track of where I am. Sometimes I can get back to working fairly quickly, but other times I am just lost.
I wanted to leave something behind that was really meaningful, I want to contribute for as long as I am able to, but having the rug pulled out from under me by greedy big business is just heartbreaking.
To be honest, I would be lost without having my website to work on and I will probably end up going down-hill faster, if I do walk away from it but to see Google posting thousands of adverts on my website for virtually nothing and to see YouTube take my other tiny income away but continue to place adverts on my content so that they can continue to make money, just disgusts me.
I haven’t given up yet and I am still fighting to get the required figures on YouTube but if I don’t get there, I just don’t know where that will leave me.