I am starting to put dates on these entries in an effort to track the progress of my condition.
I know things are gradually getting worse as I lose the ability to properly type more and more words. Words ending in ‘in’ I now automatically add a ‘g’ to so ‘within’ becomes ‘withing’.
I even forgot that I was intending to update this document and it took a few minutes for me to recover the thought.
Then I had to find this document <sigh> this gets very frustrating.
I have thoughts in my mind that I want to put down but by the time I have finished typing the first paragraph, the original thoughts are gone.
The people around me seem to either be in denial about my condition or they really don’t see it as being as bad as I feel it is.
Perhaps it is because I can still hold a normal conversation on most topics, it is really only the short term memory problem that exposes what is really happening inside my head.
That is often passed off as; ‘We all get like that at times’.
My eyes have had a bit of a set back with a torn retina in my right eye. I have had laser surgery and hopefully it won’t detach now but I am left with a bunch of ‘floaties’ (good technical word that) in my eye that are very annoying when I read the computer screen.
Physically I am pretty much buggered but I see no reason to try and improve. I know exercise will help me lose weight but why should I bother. What is the point of having a healthy body and an empty mind?
Basically I hope that a heart attack gets me before I completely lose my ability to reason.
It might seem as though I have given up but in general I am just getting on with life and doing what I can for as long as I am able.
There is no cure for this and if I don’t die of something else first, i know what my fate will be, after all, I saw it happen to my father.
It isn’t all doom and gloom though. I can’t do paid work but I am still trying to do as much as I can with my main website (www.wanowandthen.com). I can’t just sit and do nothing so this keeps me occupied and helps keep my mind turning over.