Zombies Are Real

Well, this shows how bad my memory is getting, I did start writing about my condition earlier than I thought. I just discovered the following on my computer and it is dated 2014. I have had this thing longer than I realised.

Zombies Are Real

Yes, zombies really do exist and I’m not talking about the fictional brain eating kind but the very sad cases of people affected by degenerative brain disorders who basically go through a kind of living death before their bodies actually expire.

My father was one of their number and if my recent brain scan is anything to go by, I will also become one if I live long enough.

No one noticed the early onset of Alzheimer’s in my father but looking back later, it was easy to see some of the signs that things were starting to go wrong.

My father always loved reading but at one point he stopped. No one is really sure when but it just happened. This, like many other changes, crept up on him and the progress of the condition was slow enough for everyone to miss the early warning signs.

It is doubtful if anything could have been done even if we had noticed what was going on but when the axe finally fell and the diagnosis was made, it was a great shock.

Since my father suffered and finally died from Alzheimer’s, I knew I was at increased risk of developing the condition myself.

The first warning sign I noticed was an inability to type some words correctly. Simple words like ‘the’ often came out as ‘teh’ and it became so rampant that it seemed as though my brain had been re-wired and could not help making the same mistake over and over again.

Other words gradually joined the list and it became obvious that something was wrong. A brain scan in early 2014 confirmed what I feared, my brain was showing advanced signs of ‘shrinkage’.

At the age of 53 I had to start considering what kind of long term future I was likely to have.

By the time my father was diagnosed, he had deteriorated so far that he never really understood his condition. He was frustrated that he could not think straight and he knew that things were not right but he was not lucid enough to grasp the enormity of his diagnosis.

From the time he was diagnosed to the time he died was less than 4 years and he died at the age of 84.

From what my doctor has told me, the condition can set in earlier for following generations, so I have to expect that 84 is pretty much unattainable for me.

Unlike may father I am still reasonably cognisant of my likely prognosis and I have the unfortunate ‘luck’ of being fully aware of what is likely to happen to me.

My mind has always been fairly sharp. I am a long way from being a genius but working as a computer programmer for much of my life taught me to focus on tasks and think rationally about things.

This focus and concentration are slowly slipping away and from month to month I can sense the difference in me.

Any kind of stress has a most unpleasant effect on me as my mind instantly turns to mud and I am unable to think clearly.

My typing ability is diminishing too and I find that after I finish a paragraph, I go back to check it and find several words are complete gibberish.

My eyesight, which has always been bad, means that I type while looking at the keyboard and I can usually tell if I make a ‘typo’ or two. This isn’t the same as thinking I have not made a mistake and going back to find several incomprehensible words that need correcting.

I have decided to track the course of what happens to me via this journal. I will assume that the entries here will track my deterioration to the point where I am no longer able to make entries.

This is my very first entry dated November 3rd 2014.

Wow, just wow! I was astonished when I found and read this. If I couldn’t even remember writing this then I have to suppose that things are worse than even I have given them credit for….

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2 thoughts on “Zombies Are Real”

    1. Wow, simplifying life, what I would give to be able to do that. Outside pressures are always going to be there, until I am really unable to do anything and others have to take over. I would suggest just working on the things you have (some) control over. Small things like writing yourself notes to assist with getting things done. Post-it notes are great for this. Other things like always putting everything in a specific place so that finding items becomes more of a habit than reliant on memory. I remember my father used to say, ‘A place for everything, and everything in its place.’ If I fail to keep to that then things tend to fall apart very quickly. I will try and think of any other suggestions and maybe write a post about them – now I will write myself a note so I remember to do it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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